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kindness: Lessens from the Lo‘i: Over the years my husband and I have traveled to Oahu to see our daughter who is a teacher there. In a desire to give back to the people who educated her, she chose to stay after she finished graduate school. She has attended the lo‘i for nearly a year now. May-22-2025

Lessens from the Lo‘i

Over the years my husband and I have traveled to Oahu to see our daughter who is a teacher there. In a desire to give back to the people who educated her, she chose to stay after she finished graduate school. She has attended the lo‘i for nearly a year now.

Loʻi in Hawaiian translates to farm. At this particular farm, we help with maintaining the kalo. It is a sacred food and has multiple uses. The land at this particular lo‘i has multiple fruit trees in addition to the kalo. We work the land in the morning and then as tradition there is a gratitude pray offered in Hawaiian and then a potluck lunch is held. People sit and talk and learn and socialize with each other. It is like no other experience I have had.

This time my husband, daughter, and son attended. I asked the kumu (teacher) Phyllis how the Hawaiians knew which plants were edible. She said the Hawaiians listened to the plants. I asked her how she learned to listen to the plants. She taught that the plants have always spoken and have not stopped speaking; it was merely that we have stopped listening, opting for logic rather than listening. Sadly, not listening to the plants is not the only situation where we have stopped listening.

Phyllis shared how she learned to listen to the plants. She spoke of the traditions and the spirituality of the Hawaiian people. I stood on the shore of Ka‘ena Point and the wind was howling and the tide was coming in and I listened with my back to the ocean and to the wind. I could feel the wind pressing on my knees and I had a hard time standing up straight. As I listened the thought came to me to turn around and look the wind in the face. As I did that I could feel myself lean into the wind and I became steady.

When we look our problems in the face and and lean into them, they become much easier to manage. I have always had a healthy appreciation of the power of the ocean. In keeping with Phyllis’ encouragement to listen, I went to do what I love while in Hawaii, get in the ocean. I decided to listen to the ocean. This time again the thought came to me to stay out. So I did and in alignment with previous lessons from my Hawaiian friends observed the ocean, contemplated what I should do, and applied the lesson of listening to the ocean. As I sat watching the ocean in this magical place, I saw a large turtle swim near where I would have been in the ocean. Turtles are sacred creatures to the Hawaiians. What I would later learn is that if there are turtles in the water the sharks are present.

I always leave the lo‘i refreshed and well educated.



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Chris Wilhoite MA, CST, C-PST Marriage, Relationship, and Certified Sex Therapist

Founder of Littleton Couple’s Counseling. Chris enjoys being in nature, hiking, paddle boarding, and cooking.

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