Anticipate and Avoid Poor Performance

I finally got around to calling the big box home improvement store credit card the other morning regarding the two accounts I have with them. I hadn’t slept well the night before: vivid, psychedelic dreams. Nor had I eaten breakfast; I often forget to eat in the morning. I was alone in the house with no one to bounce ideas across.

“Press one for an account balance. Press two to pay your bill by phone. Press three for a credit increase.” No option to speak to a human. Pressing zero took me back to the main menu. These days, phone systems feel like they are designed to do everything possible to make sure you cannot speak to a human.

The month previous, I couldn’t find the statements and had made a payment to the account that I thought had a small balance and now there were late fees and interest charges on the other account.

I sat on the phone, getting no where. Frustration grew at the company’s investment in shielding its customer service reps from providing customer service.

I sometimes refer to myself as the autistic kid. I have mild adult autism and adult AHDH. I think in mathematical images. Growing up, I never quite fit in. I wore plaid shirts, corduroy pants. Had I been in Kindergarten, they would have awarded me the “I dressed myself today” button. I probably would have earned it every day.

Somehow I managed to teach myself the art of acting neurotypically. I’ve mastered masking, and usually look and act like a neurotypical person. I still wear plaid shirts, now just with jeans. Most people are very surprised to learn I have adult autism. In my mind, I make exaggerated facial expressions and absurd voice intonations. As I walk through social situations, I mentally see a list of possible responses ranked by probability of “getting it right”.

People close to me tell me I do a really good job at masking... until I don’t.

I couldn’t solve this problem on my own, needed help from a person, and a solution was being withheld by the only folks who could provide assistance. Imagine that. The autistic kid seeks human connection and wants to speak to a human.

After five minutes of surfing the phone menu, I finally was granted access to a customer service representative. For the life of me, I cannot remember the arcane combination of buttons I pushed. I was frustrated and somewhat angry from the complete lack of customer service. I explained my problem. “No problem. I can move the payment to the other account. You’ll now owe this much in late fees on the original account.” By making an arbitrary payment to one of the accounts, I had underpaid and neglected a $5 balance on the first card. I fully accepted this was my fault; I was frustrated that I had to jump through hoops to get help to only be told it was my fault.

In hindsight, I should have guessed where this was heading. “Cool,” I said. “Please cancel both accounts.”

The probability of a negative outcome of this situation was predictable due to four factors: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. HALT. I walked into the call with two of them (hungry and tired) and picked up the other two while getting lost in the phone tree. I was ripe for poor performance. Lucky for me, this was a home improvement store credit card interaction and not a rupture with a partner or family member.

Unlike this situation, you do not need all four factors for a poor outcome. One can be a significant strike against you. Two can make for real problems. Three factors can drive everyone around you to frustration. Having all four can almost guarantee you won’t be happy with the outcome.

HALT can play out in any area of your life: in your relationship with your partner, conversations with kids, in everyday business dealings, while negotiating with your boss, and yes, talking to a credit card company on the phone.

When you first notice you could be Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired, pause your actions before HALT takes over. Eat a cheese stick or a handful of nuts. Close your eyes and mindfully focus on your breathing. Connect with a person you value. Hit the sack in a timely manner when you have a big day the next day. Break the cycle before it can begin.

As you begin to see the HALT process’ effects in your life, take a moment and catalog your physical, mental, and emotional state. How do you feel and where do you feel it? Going forward, pay attention for these feelings. When you feel them, move to interrupt the HALT process. Every time you feel it, aim to intervene a bit earlier in the cycle. With practice, you’ll be able to see the HALT cycle starting before it takes over.

Had I rectified one or two of these factors, or even delayed the phone call to later that afternoon or the next day, I could have strategically changed the outcome my events. We cannot control the world or how it acts; we can strive to control ourselves and how we act and react.