Lean in to improve connection, communication, and intimacy

Her eyes were red from crying all day. She longed to know she was enough. That her emotions were seen and real and understood. She couldn’t seem to stop the tears as they flowed down her check. Was she just too much?

His eyes seemed far away and distant as though they were back at a time long since passed. She could tell he was hurting, too.

Neither had words that could express the pain and sadness that they both deeply felt. Hers from all the things that she had told herself were true and his from all his fears of “will I ever get it right?” They longed to know that they loved each other and that they would make it through this time too.

Each of their minds told stories that didn’t reflect how they both really felt for each other.

They had both suffered deeply from wounds that just wouldn’t seem to leave them alone. “Why can’t she hear how much I love her?” She wondered if they would ever get to a time when there was no fear of losing each other. The more she attempted to ask for what she needed the more the words escaped her. Why couldn’t she find the words to help convey what her heart longed for. One question would lead to another, and the more she talked the more he began to shut down. They were two incredible people who couldn’t seem to share what they both truly felt so that they could hear it.

Often times, the words that we all long to hear seem to escape our ears. Our partner appears to say them and yet we may feel as if those words were never said. When we are in pain, it can often be difficult to hear and receive the things we need and want. Pain from things we have long since forgotten about creeps back in and both partners are stuck. Feeling stuck and hurt can signal that there is a trauma that needs to be healed. It is vulnerable work and takes courage to do— yet can be so rewarding when done.