Misdiagnosed Adult ADHD
As we grow older and head towards the “golden years”, lifelong signs of undiagnosed adult ADHD can be mistaken for other issues. In her book, Still Distracted After All These Years, Dr Kathleen Nadeau addresses this concern. Unfortunately, you find this information in chapter four, and sometimes adult ADHD can make that just a bit too far into the book to stick with it.
Many people with adult ADHD can often find themselves behind on paying their bills, even though there can be more than enough money in the bank. Many with adult ADHD joke that they wouldn’t find their hat if they left it on the top of their head. Let’s not even mention car keys or a cell phone!
The common worry as we age and appear forgetful is dementia or Alzheimer’s. This is a terrifying diagnosis and will probably lead to more stress and additional problems.
Forgetfulness, dementia... or something else?
When I view these situations through the lens of adult ADHD, I see distraction, not forgetfulness. My wife has adult ADHD and her memory is as sharp as a tack. She puts personal objects down and her mind is already on to the next activity. In the adult ADHD model of time management where actions fall into the two mutually-exclusive time zones of now and not now, her putting her phone on the table is already in the not now. No matter how often I suggest she place items in the same place every time, the not now time zone often wins.
Adult ADHD can be a lonely place. A large percentage of medical professionals don’t consider it to be real. Far too many mental health professions have received no training on symptoms or support frameworks. Most of society continues to label us as lazy, out of control, or uncaring. This is not who we are!
Almost everything I have learned about adult ADHD has been gleaned from lectures on childhood and adolescent ADHD. I have assembled a toolkit of support frameworks from my own life and the lives of people around me.
Meanwhile, back in the real world
I see the real world consequences of adult ADHD, and they can be measured by the impacts to the personal, social, relationship, and financial/credit parts of life.
Some of us had dreams of becoming a lawyer or a doctor. We struggled in passing the boards and might have given up.
Some of us have been overlooked for promotions because we can be tardy, disorganized, or incomplete in our work.
Some of us forget to pay bills or can struggle with procrastination.
Some of us have lived through too many conflicts with people close to us, which can lead to separation or divorce.
Strategies, frameworks, & change
My adult ADHD coaching clients work with me on a variety of struggles. One example of a real-world goal is to be on time for work to meet the last needed requirement for a promotion at work with a $3/hour wage increase.
In this example, the “simple” action of being on time and “proving” you can be trusted has a financial impact of $6,000 per year... not to mention the increased self esteem that could come with the job.
I’ve worked with executives where the financial payoff was many multiples of this example. I’ve worked with other people where the goal was to show their partner they cared and loved them.
You don’t need to have a formal diagnosis of adult ADHD to work with an adult ADHD coach. I support people with forgetfulness, procrastination, or frustration struggles. I help provide frameworks to people who struggle with things that “feel” like adult ADHD.
If any of this sounds like you, give me a call and let’s chat about how adult ADHD coaching might help you.
